I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise, each moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise, each moment, each day is new and fresh, its only the mind that extends into the future or the past, which is not living. You can only live here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a sense of boredom in just living here, within this I forgive myself for believing that I must look into the next big exciting thing in the future, or recall something from the past. Not seeing/realizing I am only generating ‘feelings’ within myself by looking into the future or past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize regardless of how exciting the future or how sweet the past was, only here/now remains, as I can only live in the here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize, there are thousands of reasons to look back, or to look into future, as recalling the past can be wonderful, or imagining the future can be dreamlike, in both cases I am only generating feelings in my body, nothing more. By generating feelings in the body through the mind, I incorrectly believe that I am ‘experiencing’ something, some event, some lost moment which is long gone, or yet to come. This is not at all what living is, this is daydreaming (in past or future).

So breathing, breath by breath is no more an idea, it’s more like a sanity-preserving mechanism, or face the ever-increasing insanity. And chasing mind stuffs like judgments, fears, and other bullshit is also due to not been HERE, as in chasing those I am actually entering the past or the future thru different doors. because in any case, I am not here, breathing living in my body with body-awareness.

So when and as I see myself wondering into the future or dwelling in the past, I stop, I breathe. I see/realize and understand, it is not living, because living means keeping the awareness in the present moment HERE, not past or future, unless I want to deliberately look into somethings from the past or into the future like planning an event or learning something from the past to apply the lessons here. It is insane to walk around lost in thinking about the future or past.